My former mental state has finally caught up to me.  When I lived in Montana I did not go one day without feeling depressed and crying.  Things were so hard there.  I had no I felt I could talk to.  I had to bottle up so much emotion unless I was alone.  It did not always work.  I made my families life hell.  When we moved to Oregon things were so much better.  Not easier necessarily, but I had a friend I could talk to, confide in.  Now I don't.  I have no one to talk to again and things are building up.  I feel like I can't handle things much longer.  I just want someone who will talk to me about the hard stuff.  About the tea room problems, personal problems.  My husband won't.  My daughter (and business partner) is not even interested in the tea room any more.  Once the money dried up so did her caring about it.  I am left with all these things to deal with and I cannot do it without having someone to talk to.  My friend no longer has time for me.  Once the job dried up she had no more use for me basically. 

 

I am feeling very lonely.  I have no one to connect to.  I have no friends.  Even on facebook where there are people I know, no cares.  I get platitudes.  I have even said how lonely I am but they are all too busy for me.  I need a person to care.  I need a friend. 

 

I know it is my fault I don't have any friends.  I close myself off too much.  I am afraid of getting hurt.  It has happened so many times before.  I open myself up to someone and then they turn around and stab me in the back.  I just wish I could be more open and make friends easier.  It surely can't hurt any worse than this. 

Things are going okay at the tea room.  We, so far, have managed to stay open.  Some days I get discouraged when it is really slow.  There are good things about when it is slow.  Like watching the flowering teas bloom and take pictures of them.  I just wish money for the lease wasn't an issue.  I really wish it would pick up or we could have something that would draw people in that would make good money for us. 

 

I enjoy working there but it just gets so discouraging and then I don't want to go because it seems pointless.  I know starting a new business is hardwork, especially in these times when the people are out of work and the economy is so slow.  I will figure things out though.  I believe God has been guiding me along this path and I just need to trust him to work things out and guide me.

 

 

 

 

I have been very busy since last November.  On December 9, 2008 I opened my own business.  It is a tea room.  We serve tea of course but also sandwiches, soup, salads, a daily entree, and breakfast.  We also have scones, cupcakes, desserts, cookies.  I make everything from scratch.  I have been wanting to do this for a long time.  I am enjoying it very much.  It is a lot of work but fun

I can't believe that summer is almost over.  I have not accomplished hardly anything that I wanted to get done.  Of course finances has something to do with that, but there were other things I wanted to do also that didn't cost.  I did watch my daughter play softball this summer.  She did really well for not having played before.  We have also been hiking to waterfalls.  These are easy hikes since I am not exactly in the greatest of shape, but this will help me get there too.  In June my husband and I went to Montana to visit with family.  We stopped and visited my nephew and his wife who I had never met.  She is so great.  While we were in SouthEastern Montana there were a few fantastic lightening storms.  Where we live now we don't get a lot of lightening.  We did get some this year about a month ago which started a forest fire of course (right where we like to hike to see the waterfalls). 

 

At the end of this month I start back to college.  I finally found a place to do my work experience so I should be able to graduate next spring.  Yea!!!!  Have a great day.

 

Here a few photos of my summer.

 

What a busy fall, winter and spring.  I forgot how much time going to school takes.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all that there is to do, but I absolutely love going to college.  I have learned so much and I am so glad I decided to do this.  It is really going to help when Rebekah and I get our tea room open.  I am looking forward to summer.  I could use a little break from such intense learning. 

 

I am getting so excited.  It is getting closer and closer to the time we will be finding a building and getting it ready for our tea room.  It has been a lot of fun planning and researching for this.  I can hardly wait until we open.  We have so many good ideas. 

 

A couple of weeks ago our PBL club hosted a dodgeball tournament.  It was a lot of fun.  I am adding a few pictures for all to see.  We are going to host another one next year.  Hopefully it will be bigger and better.

 

I have finished three more dishclothes.  I don't seem to get much done between work and my slow knitting.  Anyway, I finished a lighthouse dishcloth, a rooster dishcloth, and the May KAL dishcloth.

 

Last weekend was prom here.  My friend's daughter went and she looked so pretty.  She is a senior this year and graduating in a couple of weeks.  Yea!! Mandie.

 

My daughter was home this weekend and she was playing with her silly cat Souris.  He is so laid back you can do about anything with him.  He is really pretty too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I decided since I was playing with photographs today I would take pictures of a couple of other knitted projects that were done.  I knitted a really cool felted scarf.  I do wish it were longer after it was felted but I can always make another and make it longer.  The other picture below is of some wristers I made.  They really help when my office is cold to keep my hands warm enough so I can still type.